To be present with your partner you must quiet your chattering mind, relax your nervous anticipation, quell your egoistic attachment to winning, your fears of failure and of intimacy.
Tango, A Dance of Love and Death by A. Mead 2000
My optimal how, being in a state flow
Tango is an experience and a discipline which constantly arouses questions. Parallels to life abound. The how and why of things. The experience that I’m searching for, experimenting with and discussing is ‘flow’. Flow and Connection are the things that keep me coming back for more.
I have lifted off http://dubioblog.com/ the following as I feel that s/he asks the right questions:
“Have you ever been so engaged in something that you lost all sense of time? Do you know the feeling of being ‘in the moment’? If you do, you will probably agree that it is a great ‘state’ to be in. Now, suppose you could organise things in a way that you would be in that state more often, wouldn’t that be great? A clue to what makes us immerse fully in some tasks, and less in others could be found in the right combination of our capabilities and the challenges posed to us. With a concept called ‘flow’, positive psychologist Mihály Csikzentmihalyi explains how he thinks this works. Csikzentmihalyi defines flow as the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it (source: Wikipedia)”
From time to time I have experienced flow in tango. The feeling is awesome. Nothing else matters. Time takes on a different dimension. Slap bang into the present, we moved as one. The result is an utter sense on joy. Breaking it down, I think that one needs a very good posture with a very good connection. The basic skills need to be in place. Being comfortable with your skill level, with a nicely grounded sense of being, come right into the present and focus only on the moment. Just be. Enjoy!